Awwwmelette

Man & Woman Radish

Don't go bacon my heart. I couldn't If I fried

On a first date I refuse to order a salad. I'm ordering a big juicy bacon cheese burger and fries. if you don't like it then you can suck my lady nuts

What I learn from cooking shows. Normal. Gourmet

Told the pizza guy to "fuck this bitch up with bacon" his response "I'm gonna murder that motherfucker with bacon"

Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakers are more important than family

I don't always go out for Mexican. but when I do, I spoil my appetite with free tortilla chips

Waffles are just pancakes with abs

I hate it when someone takes the piece of food I've mentally claimed

Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands and then eat just one of those pieces

I think Dominos is trying to kill us. I can't figure out those Dominos deals you can get one large pizza for $15.99 or two large pizzas for a nickel. If we get em so fat they can't leave the house, then they have to call us again. it's called the Dominos Effect.

You can take anything from a Filipino but never ever touch the skin of his fried chicken ever

I don't know if I can ever eat any other type of chicken again. Chicky Chicky Boom Boom

The "half the fat but all of the flavor" brownie tastes like lies

Doughnuts are bad for you.

So are cream cakes, lie-ins and loud rock music. So is sugar. if you take it in your tea, stop immediately, if you take two sugars in your tea, obviously you're trying to commit suicide and it's a cry for help. Don't do it. Your life is precious.

Not drinking enough water is bad for you. You must drink 6 1/2 pints a day, or you'll get dehydrated and that's bad for you too. Don't drink too much though, that can be really bad for  you. if you drink over 14 pints at one it makes you feel drunk. so don't drink too much water and drive.

TV is bad for you. watching too much can cost you your friends. None at all and you've got nothing to talk to them about. Lack of exercise is bad for you. But getting addicted to gyms is bad for you too. Also, some gym towels aren't laundered properly and spread germs. Germs are bad for you.

Stress is bad for you. Well, at least too much stress is bad for you. not enough and you don't realise you're alive which is bad for you too. The thing is, life and the living that is involved is bad for you. it must be, because it kills everyone in the end.

At Krispy Kreme, we think the key to life, by which we mean eating doughnuts, is balance. Sure, if you eat them morning, noon, and night and they are brought directly to your armchair, then that would be bad. But then if you've never felt the pleasure of eating a delicious fluffy original glazed doughnut hot off the line and, heaven forbid, you get struck by lighting, well surely that would be really bad. Really really bad

has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life

According to serving sizes, I'm a family of four

Diet : Breakfast 250 calories Lunch 375 calories Snack 125 calories Dinner 70,450 calories

Creamy mints in pure chocolate. you will never eat these outside of a theater