If you ever need a slightly distracted, unsympathetic friend, I'm here for you

My daughter wanted a Cinderella-themed party, so I invited all her friends over and made them clean my house.

You drink too much, swear too much and have questionable morals.. you're everything I've ever wanted in a friend

True friendship is when you go over to your friend's house and you both just take a nap

If you don't have anything nice to say, whisper it in my ear, so we can laugh about it together

We are at that point in our friendship where you should realize that we don't have one.

When the teacher separates you and your friends in class

Friends joke with one another. Hey, you're poor. Hey, your momma's dead. That's what friends do

Only your best friend understands that when you say "I saw my boyfriend today" you are referring to the hot guy that has no clue you exist

You never realize how weird your friend are until you start to describe them to someone else

It is very possible that my friends have undiagnosed mental disorders

I'm so glad we bonded over our shared love of ourselves, alcohol, and making fun of other people

We all have that one friend who seems so innocent, but actually understands all the dirty jokes

When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with cries of "me too!" be sure to cherish them. because those weirdos are your tribe

She's my Bestfriend, of course I'm going to tell her every thing you just said

I'm just sure that one of these days someone will read the text messages we send each other and offer us our own sitcom

Real Friends will dress in drag and do the hula as a distraction while you go kill your crazy uncle

A bunch of my friends are coming over this evening to play on their phones

That awkward moment when your friends don't let you in the joke!

When your friends remind you of an embarrassing memory. shut up! shut up! shut up!