Just for clarification. did you say you want to ASK me a question or AX me a question? because I don't want to die

I was going to suggest you quit acting stupid, but then I realized you're likely not acting. carry on. I'll watch from a distance

Oh, Great, I fell into a Sarchasm noo, I'm just fine. and my bones aren't broken at all. having such a good time down here

Telephone rings. Hello? Hey Derp, are you home? No I carry my home phone outside.

Hey, can I be honest with you? No, please lie to me!

My sarcasm slips out of my mouth, like stupidity slips out of yours

Hey Derp, how are you? Fine, thanks! what is that? do you have braces now? No it's an electric fence so people won't steal my teeth, you know?

Le police get back here!! sure! while doing that why don't we stop by starbucks for a cup of coffee? my treat!

Clean your room. Mom, why? we're having guests over for dinner. I didn't realize that dinner will be held in my room

I almost showed up to work today with a positive attitude, but sarcasm stepped in and saved the day

Excuse me, do you work here? No, I just like to support the store uniform wherever I go.

My level of sarcasm is to a point where I don't even know if I'm kidding or not

Look, I'm not this sarcastic all of the time, sometimes I'm asleep.

Do you work here? No I just wear the apron to pick up bitches

Just imagine, you are on the 8th floor, it caught fire, How will you escape? Its very simple, I will stop my imagination

Can I help you? No, I just stood in line for 30 minutes so I could say "Hi."

I usually sit on the computer 12 hours a day. is that bad? that can't be comfortable try a chair

I have never faked a sarcasm in my life

I hate people that say age is only a number. age is clearly a word

You should know I take my sarcasm very seriously