For all you guys wearing skinny jeans. I think you took the phrase "Getting into her pants" the wrong way

40% of women have hurled footwear at a man. The other 60% would never disrespect their shoes like that

Boobs are like the Sun. you can stare at them directly just for a few seconds but if you put sunglasses you can stare at them as much as you want.

instead of replying to her rude comments, I highlighted all her grammatical and spelling errors and sent back a note saying " Bitch, I can't read this, try again."

Everyone's over here like "Hey I'm getting married or having babies" and I'm like "Hey who wants to get drunk, make bad decisions and travel the world with me?"

Being an asshole is easy. But, being a Bitch takes style