I've been hiding from exercise, I'm in the Fitness Protection Program

I will buy this app said no android users ever

I'm sorry your stupidity prevents you from understanding one damn word I am saying

Men only have 2 emotions, hungry & horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

I have a dream. That one day, I will shut my PC down, open my damn book and start studying.

The feeling you get when you successfully talk to your crush

Sorry, I'd rather stay home and nurse an unhealthy level of attachment to my dog than socialize with people

Self control : The ability to prevent myself from beating the shit out of someone who desperately needs it.

Sorry to all my friends and family who didn't realize I am a twisted freak prior to seeing the posts I was liking on Facebook.

My Dear Human. Food will not serve itself

Dad, you were like a father to me

$19.99 because $20.00 is an outrageous amount of money