You're not German
You're not English
You're not French
You understand those languages but nobody understands yours
You let your dog shit in the middle of the sidewalk.
Laughing when someone else steps in dogshit
Complaining about stepping in dog shit.
You have in-depth knowledge of bizarre sex toys
Political Leaders can admit to smoking pot and nobody will notice
Football captain not afraid to cry live on TV
You have the largest open-air urinals in the world
You have the right to terrorize tourists on your bicycle
You can always get a job as a circus performer by riding a bicycle while holding an umbrella to keep you, your cigarette and your groceries dry, as you drive your children through busy streets ignoring all traffic signals and expecting everyone to get out of your way
You get to read incomprehensible subtitles on every film on TV
You can be gay and nobody cares.
You can have the same government for ever even though you have regular elections
You can imagine you are a world power
Only country to successfully invade the US and buy it's largest City
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