There's a huge difference between having sex and making love

Cooking Fuck it! just eat me

Note to Self : It's time to grow up, be responsible, and act like an adult. Self to Note : shut the fuck up

Vaginas wouldn't have lips if you weren't supposed to kiss them.. right?

What doesn't kill you fucks you up mentally

Warning drinking alcoholic beverages before pregnancy can cause pregnancy

Uh, Daddy, I got suspended. WTH? What did you do?? Well, my ex. BF was being a dick, so I told him off and he said "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me" so I grabbed a dictionary. Threw it at his face and screamed "Hows that for words hurting you bitch" then ran away. You are totally my daughter, I'll be right there!

Fuck beating around the bush if sex is all you want make that shit clear, if you want a relationship make that shit clear, if you want somebody to talk to while your significant other is acting up make that shit clear. Don't take it upon yourself to use anybody!! make it clear in the beginning then you won't have problems in the end

Well all cope in different ways. I like sex and being awesome

That's a great first effort, kids, but let's try using the napkins from the pantry

KarmaSutra : when fate fucks you in all sorts of creative ways

So I was sucking on her tits. then the husband walks in and I just shit myself