Sunday, September 22, 2013

Would you like a bag? No I'll just put everything in my Pocket

When you turn 21, you can legally do all the things you've been doing since you were 15

Never ask a Woman her Age. A man, his salary. and a Student, His Percentage

It's true. I don't have to be so sarcastic. But the world has given me so much material to work with and I wouldn't want to be wasteful.

I sleep less, I'm tired. I sleep more, I'm tired. Life is impossible

Once I get mad at something. I get mad at Everything

If there was an award for laziness, I'd probably send someone to pick it up.

It's not funny when your next

Why is it called "beauty sleep" when you wake up looking like a troll

I feel sorry for people who don't know me

The annoying moment when you come up with a witty reply to a conversation that ended ten minutes ago

If yesterday's jeans still have the belt in them, they instantly become today's jeans. True Story

When two idiots meet

Admit it. We all waited for our friend. for more than 1 hour. Who said that he/she ll be here in a min

Don't walk away from Negative People. Run!!

Saturday, September 21, 2013

My silence doesn't mean I agree with your statement... It's just that the level of your ignorance has rendered me speechless

I am starting to think I will never be old enough to know better

I could be a morning person.. if morning happened around noon.

I love that point when you are so tired that everything is funny

Yes, I heard you calling me. Did you hear me ignoring you?

I'm a bird with no wings. of course I'm angry

The worst weapon created by mankind

I hate when someone leaves my room but doesn't shut the door completely

Smile it Confuses People

I wish I was as thin as my patience

With great power comes great electricity bill

I love when someone puts a long complaint as their status update and you ask if they're ok and they reply "inbox me" I'm sorry, was this private?

That awkward moment when you realize that you knew the right answer during an exam but didn't write it down because it sounded too dumb

Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back. but wen you're with them they always got their phone in their hand texting

We were worried when you didn't show up at the park

Intelligence beats size

How Hollywood Pistols Work

Sometimes I use smileys to make sure my messages don't look rude

Oh, I'm sorry.. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

If you listen very carefully, you'll hear the familiar sound of no one caring.

Teacher's anti-cheat technique

Just imagine, you are on the 8th floor, it caught fire, how will you escape? It's very simple, I will stop my imagination

Attention Walmart shoppers : please remember to dress for the body you Have not the body you Want

I don't have birthdays. I level up!

I saw a sign that said "Don't even think about parking here" so I parked there without even thinking about it

yes, i am nice. no, that doesn't mean you can walk all over me.

I don't always introduce two of my friends who have never met each other. but when I do, within minutes they have teamed up to make fun of me

Ate 4 boxes of thin mints not feeling thin at all

They say milk is good for your teeth. you know what else is good for your teeth? minding your own damn business

Doggie did it. He went that way

back in my day, bathrooms were used for taking a shit, not for taking pictures!

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