A winkle pickler. A hospital porter pickled the penises of dead patients and kept them in jars at his home. Dozens of stolen willies were found on the shelves of the unnamed man's bedroom after his house was raided over an unrelated incident. Staff said they had noticed corpses without their private parts in the hospital morgue but the man said they had been removed for tests. DNA samples are being taken from the organs to identify who they beloned to in Slavonski Brod, Croatia. Police said the porter could now face up to two years in jail

I thought this guy was creepy until I saw he actually had a large pen, then he was still creepy.

At my funeral I'd like there to be a pinata so that people can be happy. but filled with bees so they're not too happy

Me and my angel attempt at being emojis

I don't care how drunk you've got, you've never woken up. as Snow White.

If you water an apple tree with apple juice is it forced cannibalism?

I am still thinking about this

Actually the fruit of a tree is technically a reproductive organ, since it holds the tree's seeds and all.

So, it wouldn't be cannibalism, you'd kinda be feeding them their own semen.

I've been drinking apple cum??

Sorry I just wanted to point out that since fruit hold the seeds/ovules they're technically ovaries and so you're not drinking apple cum you're drinking ovary blood.

Apple semen would be pollen from apple trees and it would just be powdery and awful

You're really passionate about apples.

Actually since fruit is fertilized eggs, you're drinking liquified apple fetus

Remember that Time you thought you swallowed just a small piece of ice

It was a long ass day

Cause I'm a crepe. I'm a weirdough. What the hell am I doughing here? I doughnut belong here

Two blood cells met and fell in love but alas it was all in vein

Trish anong ginagawa mo? kinakamot ko lang yung pwet ko poy, gusto mong amoyin? tangina ang baho. grabe ka naman. tangina ang baho nga

Is that a banana in your pocket? cause it looks like there's a banana in your pocket

haha alcoholic like his dad.

If a Vampire bites a Zombie does the Vampire become a Zombie, or does the Zombie become a Vampire?

Meanwhile at a Russian Kindergarten

Don't worry ma'am... I'm from the internet

R4 is red. R2 is blue. if I was the force, then I'd be with you

Did you know? Dogs really hate the taste of their own bums, they only lick themselves because you won't share our toilet paper with them

Some men love chicks with lot of make up. and push-up bras, and sexy clothes. and high heels and. and there you go. wana hang out tonight sweety?

It ws nice to meet you, here's my business card. Take care. Guy who will stand behind you at the post office and whistle loudly