I hate when I don't know someone's name, but it's been long enough that it's too awkward to ask. do you, rachel, take this man.. aha! rachel!

Our break up was due to religious differences. He thought he was God. I didn't

Patient will be charged extra for annoying the doctor with self-diagnosis gotten off the internet

have you ever tried simply turning off the TV? sitting down with your children and hitting them?

A Man needs a name. Hodor

Tries to masturbate. penis freezes in a second

How feminists see men.

My husband took my virginity, and shouted first blood

You do realise that exposing the illegal things your government has been doing is illegal?

My wife says " camping's a tradition in my family" it was a tradition in everyone's family, till we invented the house

My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick, especially since his name is Steve

I am a girl and pink camo pisses me off.. seriously what are you hunting flamingos?

If you say "gullible" slowly it sounds like "oranges"

YOLO because stupid people don't know what Carpe Diem means

I hate it when you open the fridge and can't find what you were looking for. Like happiness and perfect abs

I hate the phrase "kids will be kids" I think it should be replaced with "Bad parenting results in assholes"

That awkward moment when someone asks you what's wrong, when they're the problem

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing "K" instead of "OK"?

If your job is to tell me how to do my job, you should at least know how to do my job.

This year let's resolve to make better bad decisions