You can't face the problem, if the problem is your FACE.

I decided to get a little creative this year. I present Edgar Allan Ho.

I love how men mock women for being overemotional and then lose their shit over a team losing an over-glorified game of fetch

125. Guys always say they prefer girls with little or no make-up who do they end up going for? Exactly.

Real men are like unicorns, you've heard of them, a crazy friend of a friend has seen one, but there is no hope of ever actually meeting one

Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something... I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention

I lost my wife, she went shopping & hasn't come back yet. don't worry sir... we will find your car

Husband : I lost my wife, she went shopping & hasn't come back yet.

Inspector : what is her height?

Husband : I never checked.

Inspector : Slim or Healthy?

Husband : Not slim, can be healthy.

Inspector : Colour of eyes?

Husband : Changes according to season.

Inspector : what was she wearing?

Husband : Not sure whether it was a dress or a suit.

Inspector : Was she driving?

Husband : yes.

Inspector : colour of the car?

Husband : Black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a  very thin scratch on the front left door and then the husband started crying..

Inspector : Don't worry sir,... we will find your car

I can show you the world! show me your phone! ummm, I can't show you that

it amazes me as to how you can operate any vehicle, piece of equipent, or tool but a laundry hamper confuses the shit out of you

Why Women live longer than Men

If I pretend like I am trying for long enough. my girlfriend will get frustrated and do it for me

Ang Sampung utos ng mga Babaero

1. Huwag kang papahuli sa asaway mo yari ka.

2. Huwag kang manlalaki dahil babaero ka.

3. Huwag kang aamin sa pang babae mo, Looser ka.

4. Huwag mong agawin ang babae ng kapwa mo babaero.

5. Mag ahit ka ng bigote mahahalatang babaero ka

6. Magpabango ka ng pam babaeng pabango bago umalis ng bahay para paguwi mo amoy babae ka pa rin.

7. Mag anti-biotic ka baka mahawa.

8. Manood ka muna ng TV pagdating mo ng bahay bago matulog, mahahalatang pagod ka.

9. Huwag puputa sa matataong lugar dahil mahuhuli ka ng asawa mo sa nightclub na lang.

10. Magpahinga ka naman hinid mauubos yan.

How I feel standing up. How I feel sitting down

So, earlier today I saw this post : that's how your Girlfriend sees your female friends. then I automatically had to think : oh, really? that's cute and that is how WE see your male friends

What girls think is enough sign of their interest in me. what I really need

Men Vs Women. Bunn isn't this a nice Cafe? Meh.. all cafes look pretty much the same to me. Hey bunn check out this fresh flower. do you know what kind of flower this is? it's a purple flower. I know it's purple I'm asking you if you know what kind of flower it is. how should I know? all flowers look the same to me.

A man has two options in a relationship : Either Stand up and be the man she needs or Sit down, so she can see the man behind you

A Jealous woman does better research than the FBI. a determined guy can hide secrets better than the CIA

Thank God you're a man!

Beards make you hotter. This is science. and Mustaches make you creepier. this is also science.